Story of My Life, Pt. 4

Hello friends! I’ll just jump right into it…

I accepted a job in NYC and will be leaving in November to go live in the big city! I am very excited, and I don’t often get very excited about things.

Unfortunately, I had to cancel a trip to Vienna I had planned for October, which would have been the five year anniversary of my study abroad experience. Strangely though, moving to New York feels like the full gestation of the Vienna experience (Yes, I know, I’m one of “those” study abroad people who can’t stop talking about their experience.)

I’ve gotten a lot of questions from friends and family and coworkers that are more or less asking, “What made you decide?”

Well, allow me to elaborate by way of rambling anecdotes and self-reflection. But come on, if this surprises you, you haven’t been reading my blog for very long.

I had a friend who quit her high paying engineering job awhile back to go play music in Nashville. When she was contemplating the decision, I told her she needed to do it, because I knew her well enough to know that it was a part of her DNA to play music. She needed to go and find out if it was indeed something she was made to do. She could always return to the engineering job if she wanted. She ended up going, and she (as far as I know) loves it. In fact, she is releasing her first EP soon!

I also had a friend who moved to Washington D.C. for a job, and I too realized that he needed to go. We hadn’t really kept up since college, but we lived close and I would see him now and then. I remember having a brief conversation where I told him something similar – It just made so much sense for him to go. He was nervous about going, about the possibility of getting out of OKC, but he went for it, and (as far as I know) loves it.

After coming back from Vienna, I remember being so sad for several months. But time wears away most things, and I forgot what it was like to be in a city. I drove to work every day instead of taking the subway and walking.

When I started at OGE, I set a 5 year plan for myself which included the acquiring of some pieces of paper. Back in June, I had attained my MBA and passed my Professional Engineering test. So I began to ask myself, what’s next? What’s next for Seth? One of the clear answers was to move to a different city. When I applied for the job in NYC and got offered it, the answer appeared to be a simple thing. However, with any big decision like moving to a different state away from family, nothing is simple.

The difficulty with the decision was that I was approaching it as Seth. I know that phrase may sound strange, “approaching as Seth,” but Seth has very many conflicting desires and, frankly, couldn’t figure anything out. I received the offer on a Friday and spent a whole week, fully convincing myself one way, and then another, and then back again. 

It wasn’t until I stopped answering as “Seth” and started answering as someone responsible for Seth, someone who knows everything about the human being known as Seth, but without the weird cloud of personal air.

In other words, I stepped into that same role I was for my friends, except I did it for myself. I treated myself as if I were responsible for someone I was helping. When that happened, the answer became clear. I needed to go. 

Ever since returning from Vienna, I needed to go. It just happened to take a while to figure it out and to learn more about myself, enough to realize that Seth needs this experience, that I need this experience. 

So, all that to say, the old adage remains true: Treat yourself as someone you are responsible for helping. 

Anyway, enough navel-gazing. I’ve said enough about me and my decision to move. 

What about you, dear reader? What thing are you holding in your heart as a dream that feels just beyond your reach, beyond the tips of your fingers? 

Or perhaps you are holding it, but at arms distance?

Go for it. Go in and find out. Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Trust me, if I can move to New York and last at least a year (which remains to be seen), then you too can probably face that tough choice ahead of you.